(no subject)

[chassit]

Mom and I are watching something about the human body.

TV: *talking about sperm* The vagina is a dangerous place for sperm. On contact, thousands of sperm die.
Mom: But not all of them, dammit. Die! Die!
Mel: Love you too, Mom.


TV: The sperm eventually hits the egg-
Mom: Vagina, you're fired. You failed me!


TV: *shows a woman now at forty five, saying that by this age, pores begin to show, immune systems start crapping out*
Mom: Screw you, forty five!


Mom: *calls Dresden 'Sperm donor' just randomly*
Dresden: *spins and looks at Mom*
Mel: ... that should not have gotten him to look.
Mom: Whatever works, Mel.


Mel: Mom, what did you say when [insert here]?
Mom: ... girl, I don't know! You have to write it down fast! Middle age, remember?


Mom: *with a kitten on her chest, a bagel in her hand, and a dog poking at her* Mel, do these guys have food? *meaning the kitten*
Mel: Yes.
Mom: Are you sure? Are you sure they have food?
Mel: I gave them some last night!
Mom: *grumble and goes back to fighting for her food*